Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
