It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
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