why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i love accidental penises.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize