What did we do last night that was yellow?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
