U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i can't believe i had my finger in that
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
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