Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
