I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
