So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize