Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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