God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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