I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
