Your face is a jimmy john
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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