we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
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