talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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