Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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