you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Randomize
