Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
