so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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