Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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