It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
