HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
