all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
