it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
