"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
