I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
