Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
