The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
