im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
