Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
