you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
