Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
