How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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