He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
