I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
So vagazzling was a success
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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