The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
