Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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