ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
