I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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