if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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