I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize