the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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