I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
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