I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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