just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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