we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
