the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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