I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
