I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
