i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
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i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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