If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
