is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
