no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
