sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
