I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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