she kept yelling 'call me bella'
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
