We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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