between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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