her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
