are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
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