She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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