super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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