This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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