Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
