well you can't waste a boner
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
