Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
