weddingsv make me drug and hornr
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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