dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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