is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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