but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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