My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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