Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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